Riding on the bicycle

I woke up late and missed the opportunity to go to the career forum.
I thought that this happened on purpose by the god.

I went out with my dad to buy a bicycle for him.
I was actually really busy and in a hurry because the dead line of my resume was coming in two days. I have five resumes which I have to submit within two days.

I enjoyed all the moments when I was in the bicycle shop. I concentrated on chatting with a shop assistant who seemed the top of the shop because I felt something different while talking with him. He was so kind and talked a lot with us.
What he said was interesting and I truly had a fun time though I couldn't feel relaxed for these days because of my busy life.
He gave me a room of my mind to refresh myself.
I think his working style is great. I know his job is hard but the point is that he looks happy and have fun while doing his job. I'm not sure what is his true mind.
Surely there is a possibility that he may pretend his mind in order to let us buy an expensive bicycle. Of course employees many times are forced to pretend their minds by their boss because the purpose is increase the number of the people who buy their products.
However, especially at that moments, I didn't feel that way. Rather he looked like a truly human being with his warm heart.

Since I came back to Japan, I looked around the people walking on the street. Their eyes looked exhausted and their bodies seemed no powerful energy. I'm sure that I don't want to have the same characteristics. I want to have myself bright as much as possible.

Look around whatever you can see from your eyes. You'll be surprised at what you see and look back on yourself. See if you look the same as the person you are looking.
At least you'll notice what you don't what to be as a person in the future.

What's wrong with me?

I've been feeling strange since I came back to Japan. I felt alone even though my boy friend took care of me. There is no comfortable place to be as I am. I'm so exhausted that I'm about to loose my motivation. I know there are many people who dislike me or don't want to agree with me. However, simultaneously there are as many people who like me and want to share time as those who don't match me. I'm trying to have things fun although they seem to make me feel bad if I look at just the surface because I believe that I can get things done, having fun if I can see the things through a variety of my angles without any biased filter of my mind.

Now I have to manage myself to keep my motivation high even though I'm actually in a hard time because of the unreasonable reason from the school work.

I think I'm doing well as I tried to accept everything happening to me very positively. For instance, when I come accross a hardship that my professor reject me and close his mind while I try to show my respect as much as possible, I try to see the thing as this experience will help me to have my room of my heart bigger and lead me to my brighter future.

You know it's still difficult to let bad things go without illitation even though you try to accept them without judgement. That's why I'm frustrated for my current situation.

I believe that I'm going to the right way to get my great happiness.